G’s story continues……….

During this time several other things were happening in my life.                                                                                                                                                           I was celebrating my fiftieth year and with my wife and a group of friends were in the midst of preparations begun ten years ago, to travel to Europe before the year was out. The trip was to be a three-month odyssey.  Funnily enough, my wife in preparation for this trip had had some recent treatment for some vein issues she was having. She had chosen a chemical solution developed overseas in the last ten years. I had tried to sell the idea of this to my father, as it would not require him to wait for his ulcers to heal and could allow his veins to be treated without awaiting surgery. He would not listen; would not investigate the idea nor discuss it with his doctors, nor did they suggest such a course of action. A surgeon is a surgeon is a surgeon I guess. He believed, in his old fashioned view of manhood that he knew best and did not need to let everyone know all that was going on with his life. He was not telling his doctors everything.

The time came to leave on our trip and dad was still hanging in there and getting around. We all gathered on a beautiful winter’s day at the Centennial Park Kiosk for a family lunch the day before we left. Dad joined us, even though shaky on his legs and looking pale. The following day we left for Europe. About a week past and my eldest sister rang to say dad had not been going so well. I talked with him and he seemed in good spirits. He wasn’t going to let on. We continued on with our trip and as our first month of travel passed the call came as we stood in ‘Hitler’s Coliseum’ in Nuremberg, Germany.  My eldest sister was on the phone and called me home. It was time to return. A race against the clock to say our final farewells had begun.

The story from here was both happy and sad. Our trip home was not in vain. I got to see my father as he lay in the hospice hanging on and waiting for the end. All hope of recovery was gone.

All the words: all the hugs; all the gratitude; all the love I had to give was poured out in those final three days beyond our return. He passed as the sun rose on the third day after our return. We stayed on for the funeral and as discussed with dad in one of those fondly remembered Wednesday night dinners, we returned to Europe to complete what we had started. Dad had insisted on that and had even told me not to return if he was no longer with us. I couldn’t do that and was glad we returned. The trip had become far more memorable and meaningful than we had ever expected – The highest of highs and lowest of lows.

A month into the second leg of our interrupted trip we thought we were coming home again.

My wife’s father was rushed into hospital after a minor heart attack. As we stood on the steps of Venice Railway Station the news reached us.    To be in a place of canals and waterways as this news arrived further added to the theme of making sure the plumbing was in order.

A few tense days followed as we received regular updates on his health. Three stents had brought relief and we were advised to stay where we were. A day later he was home, but then suddenly rushed back to hospital as the stents had failed. E felt for sure we were coming home for the second time two months. Again we were spared as this time all was successful and his recovery was quick. Before we knew it he was home again and out building a new garden bed in his backyard. All had been a timely reminder of how much can go wrong as we get older and, whilst impossible to cover all scenarios, maybe a lot more could be done to prevent some of this in the future.

So what does one take from such an experience, especially in regards one’s health?

Since my return I have gone and seen my doctor and intend to do so annually. I saw a specialist about the veins in my legs to find I have the identical problems as my father. I have had all the dysfunctional veins treated. I was no longer willing to wait.

I had learnt my lesson about ignoring the health issues that are often hereditary in a family, about waiting too long to deal with obvious health issues. Some may call it being proactive. My explanation to most has been that my actions were the result of two other ‘p’s’ – prevention and paranoia.

Whatever or wherever you want to find the motivation to have the plumbing that your life relies upon checked all I can say is find it. Life is short and so precious and to live it for as long, and with as much good health as we can is what we should all want for ourselves. It is not just for us, but what we should want for the people around us that we love.

No one can prevent the unpredictable and unforeseen, but the odds are greatly improved if we do cover the things that are predictable and seen. Do yourself a favour!
Dave – Thanks for the opportunity to tell my story.